Being a caregiver is one of the most rewarding and challenging roles a person can take on. It demands a level of selflessness and dedication that often goes unrecognized.
As someone who previously worked as a registered behavior technician [for neurodivergent children], I have spent countless hours talking to these parents and caregivers about their experiences and how challenging it can be. The more I’ve thought about what these parents had shared with me, I’ve come to realize just how crucial self-care is for those in these roles.
Here's a list of self-care tips that can hopefully be helpful to any caregivers that struggle to find time for themselves:
1. Take Micro-Breaks Throughout the Day- Take 5-10 minutes for yourself during your child’s nap or quiet time. Use this moment to practice deep breathing, meditate, or simply enjoy a cup of tea without distractions.
- Incorporate calming rituals like knitting, coloring, or listening to a short podcast. Choose activities that are easy to pick up and put down, allowing you to relax without the pressure of time.
- Designate a space in your home as your self-care corner. Fill it with items that bring you peace, like scented candles, soft blankets, or inspirational quotes. Even a few minutes spent here can be rejuvenating.
- Turn daily chores into mindfulness exercises by focusing on the present moment. While washing dishes or folding laundry, practice deep breathing or repeat a calming mantra.
- Sacrifice a little sleep for moments of solitude. Whether it’s getting up 15 minutes earlier or staying up a bit later, use this time to do something you love, like reading, journaling, or taking a bath.
6. Prioritize Your Mental Health
- Utilize online therapy or counseling options. If in-person sessions feel daunting or impossible, consider virtual therapy sessions that can be done from home during your child’s occupied time.
- Join online support groups for parents of special needs children. Even if you don’t feel comfortable sharing, simply reading others’ experiences can provide comfort and a sense of community.
- Start with tiny goals like drinking a glass of water every hour, stretching for five minutes a day, or writing down one positive thought before bed. Small wins add up and can help you build momentum.
- Explore apps designed for relaxation and mental health, such as meditation apps or calming music playlists. These can be easily accessed during your child’s therapy sessions or playtime.
- Start small by expressing your needs to trusted friends or family members. Let them know you’re working on self-care and ask for their understanding and support, even if it’s just through a text or quick phone call.
These tips are designed to help you integrate self-care into your daily routine in ways that feel manageable and respectful of your unique circumstances. Remember, even small acts of self-care can make a significant difference in your overall well-being.
Discover Arts & Crafts and Stress Relief Items to help you unwind.
Recently, I reached out to several mothers' groups and caregivers of special needs children on Facebook, hoping to understand their experiences with self-care. What I found was a mix of resilience, struggle, and a lot of unmet needs.
Here are the questions I posed to these brave individuals:
- What self-care activities or routines do you regularly engage in to manage stress and maintain your well-being?
- How do you balance your own needs with the demands of caregiving?
- Can you describe any specific strategies or techniques that have been particularly effective in helping you cope with the challenges of caregiving?
- What role does support from friends, family, or support groups play in your self-care routine?
- How do you prioritize self-care when you have a busy or unpredictable schedule?
- Have you sought any professional help, such as therapy or counseling, to support your well-being? If so, how has this impacted your caregiving experience?
- Are there any hobbies or activities you’ve found helpful in relieving stress or maintaining a sense of normalcy?
- How do you address feelings of guilt or frustration that may arise from taking time for yourself?
- What challenges have you faced in trying to maintain self-care, and how have you addressed them?
- Do you have any tips or advice for other caregivers on how to effectively integrate self-care into their daily routine?
Out of more than 10 Facebook pages where I posted these questions, only one parent felt brave enough to respond. This was surprising and concerning, as it highlighted the silence and isolation that many caregivers may be feeling. The lone response, however, was powerful and deeply insightful. A mother from a group for children with Autism shared:
"I'm a caregiver and mom. My youngest has severe disabilities and needs 24/7 care. My reality is I don't have a village. I don't trust anyone but my husband and best friend with my son. The truth is that self-care gets put last. I can't burn out and even when I do, I have to keep going. I sacrifice sleep a little to stay up to have alone time. We're at appointments every single week, my husband works full time so it's just me doing all this part. I don't know about resources or respite care, because once again I don't trust anyone. But with all this, I wouldn't trade it. I'd do it all over again without hesitation. My son is worth every single second.
No, I haven't sought therapy because I don't want to. I don't think it would help.
I have joined a lot of support groups of people in similar situations and that's helped more than anything. Feeling not alone... I can't say enough what a lifesaver those groups are."
This response brought to light a reality that many caregivers face: the lack of a supportive village.
For this mother, self-care often meant sacrificing sleep just to get a moment of alone time. Despite the immense love and dedication she has for her son, the burden of caregiving is heavy, and the resources available to her are few.
But what struck me even more was the lack of responses I received overall. I expected a flood of replies, but instead, I was met with silence.
This made me realize that these caregivers might be experiencing deep feelings of fear, anxiety, sadness, and guilt or shame that keep them from sharing their experiences or asking for help. It also suggests that there isn't enough awareness or support being offered to these caregivers—our modern-day heroes who are quietly shouldering an enormous responsibility.
This blog post isn't just a reflection on the importance of self-care; it's also a call to action.
We need to do more as a community to support caregivers, especially those who are caring for loved ones with special needs or dementia. It's not enough to tell them to take care of themselves; we need to be there, actively offering our help and making sure they know they're not alone. Whether it's through creating more accessible resources, forming stronger support networks, or simply checking in on them more frequently, we all have a role to play.
If you're a caregiver reading this, please know that your well-being matters just as much as the person you care for.
It’s okay to take time for yourself. It’s okay to ask for help. And it’s okay to prioritize your own mental and physical health. Your strength is admirable, but remember that even the strongest people need a break sometimes.
And if you're someone who knows a caregiver, I encourage you to reach out to them. Offer a helping hand, a listening ear, or simply remind them that they’re doing an incredible job. Together, we can make a difference in their lives, and in doing so, help them continue to care for their loved ones with the love and dedication that only they can provide.
About the Author:
Paige Whitley is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in Florida. With over 3 years of dedicated experience, Paige has become a trusted ally for diverse populations, including the neurodivergent community, trauma survivors, substance abuse sufferers, and those navigating general mental health challenges. Since 2010, Paige has impacted young lives through her work as a lifeguard, swim teacher, behavior technician, nanny, and counselor. When not at work, she indulges in the magic of Disney Parks, enticing culinary adventures, and family time with her husband and fur babies (and Baby Whitley due in May 2024!) Passionate and empathetic, she's a catalyst for positive change, committed to making a difference in her community's mental health landscape.